My First Book ‘Gangster Paradise’

book cover

I remember a book of poems & stories I wrote from the age of 12-16 where I spoke on my first relationships, pain, losing friends & family at a young age.  I called it “Idle Life” and when I got expelled from High School I left the floppy disk in my favourite teacher’s cubby and never heard about it again.

Now as a grown woman at the age of 26 with 3 children in my lifetime I’ve faced a strange path.  I would cry at my young age with depression and can’t really remember being happy as a child.  Facing abuse for a majority of my youth along with aspects of ‘hustling’ from a very early age, homelessness, and then living on my own since the age of 15. By the time I had my first daughter at age 20 I was an overbearing mother.

I was in a sort of dissonance like a deep sleep retaining my environment, any knowledge I could find, music, and whatever else could carry me through. Just going through the motions not looking forward to the future.

I started to wake up around the age 24, noticing that I created comfort in abnormalities that were toxic, and revolving my existence around a partner that wasn’t meant for me. I wrote a Vision Book & started journaling around the moon phases.  Collecting thoughts, setting affirmations, and finding solace in solitude. Once I reached a peak of challenges from my decisions made out of stubbornness which I’ll share in a later conversation I decided enough was enough I recalibrated myself to only focus on creating.

I reviewed my Vision Book in 2016 and said I have these hopes & dreams I cannot attain because I haven’t built an infrastructure.  Recurring challenges caused me to channel those difficulties into Poems & Art.

With over 50+ paintings in my current inventory and over 100 painted just in 2017. Among the visual accomplishments I steady wrote to clear my mind.  It wasn’t until I was brought to “When Brothers Speak” hosted by Dwayne Morgan by my good friend Reesee Ziggazagga that I thought of piecing together all of my poems into a book.  Now I have that exact infrastructure I prayed for & it’s only up from here.

Birthing ‘Gangster Paradise’

Within 48 obsessive hours I put together this E-Book that will soon manifest in a physical copy with 65 poems across 90 pages.  The chapters break down like this:

  1. Introduction: Down In The Delta
  2. The Fog That Sweeps Over Meadows
  3. Coconut Oil & Thoughts Of You
  4. The Shelter of Helter Skelter
  5. Raine Drops In the Summertime & Rivers Blue as The Sky
  6. Secrets of The Cabal, Street Law

‘Down in The Delta’ opens up the story in the sense of my unconsciousness & living life in pilot-mode.  Leading into the first chapter ‘The Fog That Sweeps Over Meadows’ which chases my thoughts of the esoteric & spiritual world.

‘Coconut Oil & Thoughts of You’ is a chapter of love, sexuality, freedom, and fun.  Followed by a more serious topic ‘Shelter of Helter Skelter’ which has poems some I even wrote in the brink of conflict & abuse so it has rawness of my emotions & thoughts.

Then comes ‘Raine Drops In The Summertime & Rivers Blue as The Sky’ is about my daughters that have shaped me as a human being.

The last chapter is called ‘Secrets of The Cabal, Street Law’ which is about a gangster life & my less gentle side.

This book has been one of my most fun accomplishments & I can’t wait to take it to the next level.

(Available for purchase here)


Late Nights In Paradise #AmethystList

Late Nights In Paradise #AmethystList


Late Nights In Paradise

“Had a meeting with the devil last week, couldn’t believe what he said to me” Chris Brown “Yellow Tape”

I’m proud of this week’s Amethyst List.

I probably say this every time I make a playlist and I’m most likely going to say it again but I’ll just state it I killed this playlist.

The artists of each song are motivating forces in music today. I have been inspired by every single song on here so now I got a story to tell.

This hour long list is something to smoke a blunt, sip wine, vibe, relax, joyride or create to.  This shuffle-friendly list is initially in a title order according to a story of a lover focused on bettering themselves rather than the love of their life because they are battling thoughts of temptation.

  • This Ain’t
  • Paradise
  • Gave Your Love Away
  • Issues
  • Held me Down
  • Needed
  • Moving Mountains
  • Nuh Time/ Tek Time
  • I Think She like Me
  • Paradise
  • Better Man
  • Don’t Judge Me
  • Yellow Tape
  • You’re Everything

All of these songs vibe with a powerful & deep production, that’s why I stress it’s shuffle-friendly but in case you want to come along this journey with me here’s our Amethyst List’s breakdown.

On Halloween Chris Brown released his 45-song album called Heart Break On A Full Moon so we start with his song This Ain’t followed up by Daniel Casear’s Paradise featuring Badbadnotgood & Sean Leon.   I gotta make something for myself, if you want to get this money…come & join me. 

With sounds eclectic of house music & a 90’s vibe Majid Jordan Gave Your Love Away. Off their new sophomore album called The Space Between.  Noting thoughts of confusion.

Bringing honest feelings & emotions bluntly stated by PNB Rock & Russ we got some “Issues” while Nav & Metro Boomin slow the tempo with “Held Me Down” stating I been running from my problems, I’ve been running from you.  Then we have one of my top 10 new artists that I adore Brent Faiyaz with “Needed” a song that has a Dirty Diana flavour. Adding in sexy raspy soprano sounds from Syd we’re “Moving Mountains.”  A broken hearted lover’s reply I’ve been moving mountains for you, working my fingers to the bone and what I got to show for it?

I know you say that people make time for shit that they want, well it’s not I don’t want you but you want more from me…”Nuh Time/ Tek Time” is a 2 part ballad that hits home for me by singer Daniel Daley & producer Nineteen85’s duo called Dvsn from their album Morning After.  Then Ricky Rozay aka Rick Ross alongside Ty Dolla $ign “I Think She like Me” a sample from the classic joint  “People Make The World Go Round” by The Stylistics.

I’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places. Popping up a second time Chris Brown explains why it hurts when you fall out of  “Paradise.”  Now give me some time so I can be a better lover, PartyNextDoor pours out his heart in “Better Man” featuring Rick Ross.  I love the line ‘I watched my mama go through the same thing.’

Excuses, excuses while they say “Don’t Judge Me” this track is from Ty Dolla $ign (who just released Beach House 3) this song features Future & Swae Lee; of course I love the end transition it soothes into what I call the warning song of this story “Yellow Tape” a song that reverberates in your system lyrically & musically by Chris Brown.  My fave song from HBOAFM.

Finishing up this narrative our main character decided to do their own thing keeping it trill I bring you the ageless “You’re Everything” by Bun B featuring Rick Ross, David Banner, 8Ball & MJG.  Blended with vocals from Jodeci ‘s“Cry For You.”

Now that you got the 411 go listen to the vibes on Apple Music.

#AmethystList Returns

“I used to want a million, then I wanted ten, now I want 100.”– Young Dolph Drippy”

Making a comeback this Amethyst List Playlist is fully endorsed by Drippy Supply Clothing & Lifestyle brand.

With 2 brand new songs straight off “Thinking Out Loud” by Young Dolph & “Super Slime” by Future & Young Thug setting the tone.

Third song up is Drippy’s very own Wayve with “Rounds/100 Ways” transitioning the list into some of the hottest tracks from Toronto.

With music from Friyie, TVGUCCI, Pinky AFM & Mekhi giving you a different sound from our city that’s just straight vibes.

Now catch the transition, we still keeping it RepsUp with Preme’s single “Tango(Go)” & the double hitter Dvsn’s “Hallucinations RepsUp Remix” by Gilla.  Then we squeeze in those UK sounds with Giggs featuring Dave on “Peligro” (probably one of the most gangster beats ever produced.)

Speaking of crazy production Belly’s track “Papyrus” produced by Boi1da is the perfect song to proceed.  With Nav & Metro Boomin giving you a Minute picking up the mood perfectly to introduce Baka Not Nice’s banger “Money In The Bank.”

Followed by his brothers Preme & Partynextdoor brand new single “Can’t Hang”…when I say this shit bangs, we played it on repeat at the club with no complaints. This song followed by Party’s “Bad Intentions” closes up this list on a flawless high note.

You can now stream & download this #AmethystList here on Apple Music.

Ambition of a Lover

He’s focused on the goal ahead & she’s looking at him.

This piece was created in 2 days & was an invigorating free hand study.  My reference for the male was Metro Boomin of course.  The album I had bumping was THEY. It was just a positive feeling to manifest this particular vision.

Amethyst List

Every Saturday.  Follow me on twitter @Amethyst_Amaris to get the link to my apple music playlists called ‘Amethyst List’

My Progress

Don’t stress the progress!

The Art of Introduction

Who is Amethyst Amaris?

To know who I am you must know what I represent.  I am a holistic creator & healer.  My capabilities expand beyond a paint brush & being a nutritionist. I say holistic creator because I am an artist, musician, dancer, with a natural knack for acting.

I say holistic healer because I am a claircognizant empath that has studied herbalism, natural nutrition, spiritual psychology and am currently studying naturopathy.  I depend on my empathic abilities to heal people.

Read on…