My First Book ‘Gangster Paradise’

book cover

I remember a book of poems & stories I wrote from the age of 12-16 where I spoke on my first relationships, pain, losing friends & family at a young age.  I called it “Idle Life” and when I got expelled from High School I left the floppy disk in my favourite teacher’s cubby and never heard about it again.

Now as a grown woman at the age of 26 with 3 children in my lifetime I’ve faced a strange path.  I would cry at my young age with depression and can’t really remember being happy as a child.  Facing abuse for a majority of my youth along with aspects of ‘hustling’ from a very early age, homelessness, and then living on my own since the age of 15. By the time I had my first daughter at age 20 I was an overbearing mother.

I was in a sort of dissonance like a deep sleep retaining my environment, any knowledge I could find, music, and whatever else could carry me through. Just going through the motions not looking forward to the future.

I started to wake up around the age 24, noticing that I created comfort in abnormalities that were toxic, and revolving my existence around a partner that wasn’t meant for me. I wrote a Vision Book & started journaling around the moon phases.  Collecting thoughts, setting affirmations, and finding solace in solitude. Once I reached a peak of challenges from my decisions made out of stubbornness which I’ll share in a later conversation I decided enough was enough I recalibrated myself to only focus on creating.

I reviewed my Vision Book in 2016 and said I have these hopes & dreams I cannot attain because I haven’t built an infrastructure.  Recurring challenges caused me to channel those difficulties into Poems & Art.

With over 50+ paintings in my current inventory and over 100 painted just in 2017. Among the visual accomplishments I steady wrote to clear my mind.  It wasn’t until I was brought to “When Brothers Speak” hosted by Dwayne Morgan by my good friend Reesee Ziggazagga that I thought of piecing together all of my poems into a book.  Now I have that exact infrastructure I prayed for & it’s only up from here.

Birthing ‘Gangster Paradise’

Within 48 obsessive hours I put together this E-Book that will soon manifest in a physical copy with 65 poems across 90 pages.  The chapters break down like this:

  1. Introduction: Down In The Delta
  2. The Fog That Sweeps Over Meadows
  3. Coconut Oil & Thoughts Of You
  4. The Shelter of Helter Skelter
  5. Raine Drops In the Summertime & Rivers Blue as The Sky
  6. Secrets of The Cabal, Street Law

‘Down in The Delta’ opens up the story in the sense of my unconsciousness & living life in pilot-mode.  Leading into the first chapter ‘The Fog That Sweeps Over Meadows’ which chases my thoughts of the esoteric & spiritual world.

‘Coconut Oil & Thoughts of You’ is a chapter of love, sexuality, freedom, and fun.  Followed by a more serious topic ‘Shelter of Helter Skelter’ which has poems some I even wrote in the brink of conflict & abuse so it has rawness of my emotions & thoughts.

Then comes ‘Raine Drops In The Summertime & Rivers Blue as The Sky’ is about my daughters that have shaped me as a human being.

The last chapter is called ‘Secrets of The Cabal, Street Law’ which is about a gangster life & my less gentle side.

This book has been one of my most fun accomplishments & I can’t wait to take it to the next level.

(Available for purchase here)


This Is For The Winners #AmethystList

This is for the winners Amethyst List

Welcome to this week’s #AmethystList on Apple Music.

Shout out to all of you pathological manifestors on this beautiful Saturday.

We missed an article last week; quick update of that Amethyst List called ‘Can’t Fake The Funk’ based on some really funky records modern & classic.

Now let’s get into this creation called “This Is For The Winners”  I decided to make my Apple Music list match this week’s Soundcloud list “This Is For The Sinners” with titles & illustration. Meaning you can play them back to back.

This particular list is based on sounds, production & cadences. Like all #AmethystList playlists each song is methodically & melodically placed so it’s shuffle-friendly but sounds really amazing in a chronological order. This title list is in the form of a story & goes like this:


      • Heaven
      • One I Want
      • Stay Blessed
      • Don’t Wanna Breathe
      • She Don’t Wanna Man
      • No Drama
      • Love Scars
      • Me or Us
      • The Life
      • Diplomatic Immunity
      • How U Feel
      • You Got Me
      • God’s Plan

If you want to start dancing right away or listen along while you read here you go. Now let’s get into it.

“Heaven” by Justine Skye off her newly released album called ‘Ultraviolet’ is just the kind of R&B track to set the tone followed up by the similar sounds of “One I Want” by Majid Jordan & PartyNextDoor.

“Stay Blessed” from Bryson Tiller takes us to the theme of a man in love and pouring his heart out followed by Kodak Black’s “Don’t Wanna Breathe” a similar sentiment.

Taking us back with a classic by Curren$y “She Don’t Wanna Man”He tell her balance the cheque book, I tell her roll the weed up. This song is so raw & real.

Up next is the new single “No Drama” by Tinashe featuring Offset. This beat matches perfectly with “Love Scars” from Trippie Redd.

Squeezed into the transition “Me Or Us” a short & sweet track by Young Thug. Moving into a certified LEGENDARY banger from the G.O.A.T. Styles P featuring Pharoahe Monch “The Life.”Amethyst List

A perfect opening for The Boy Drake’s latest single “Diplomatic Immunity” that meshes well into
“How U Feel” by Huncho Jack (Travis Scott & Quavo).

Back again Justine Skye’s“You Got Me” with vocals lended by PartyNextDoor is another promising song off her new album.

Rapping it up I leave you with another single from Champagne Papi called “God’s Plan.”  

Now you know the background behind this sound selection take a listen & don’t forget to follow me on my Apple Music Profile!

Firm Grip Sink Ya Whole Ship #AmethystList

Amethyst List

Happy New Year!

I’m wishing all of you much success, abundance in every facet of your being, and pure prosperity.

Now that we’re back to the regular programming we missed two article updates on here.  Let me give you a quick update of those #AmethystLists.  We got last week’s list ‘Rock Steady, Glock Ready, My Block Heavy‘ & before that ‘She’s Victorious, He’s Notorious, They Glorious‘.  Some pure fire on each list be sure to save those if you haven’t checked them out yet.

Now let’s get into this baby.  This particular list is based on sounds & cadences. Continue reading

Thots Taught Thoughts By Psychonauts #AmethystList

Thots Taught Thoughts By Psychonauts #AmethystList

Let’s start by giving you the definition of a Psychonaut.

“A psychonaut is a person who explores the psyche through the use of hallucinogens or other techniques.”

Cool play on words right?  Okay so let’s get down to the nitty gritty.  This week’s #AmethystList is pretty litty.  It’s all new songs with sick beats, clever lyrics, and an interesting concept not based on a particular theme but a mood I’m manifesting for 2018.  Security.

Now like all of my playlists this is shuffle-friendly but sounds really amazing if you play it in chronological order.  Let’s explore this list we have here:

  • Anointed
  • Provider
  • Yoppa
  • Space Cadet
  • No Security
  • Mediterranean
  • Laying Low (Cooking Up)

If you want to start dancing right away or listen along while you read here you go. Now let’s get into it.

Miguel created yet another incredible body of work called War & Leisure which is pretty much his own genre.  Giving you chills with the first song up like always “Anointed” has lyrics that are just deep as the production.

‘You make me feel like I’m a God. Make me feel like I been Anointed.’

Show me the wisdom in your movement, Frank Ocean with “Provider” follows well with that similar sense of security within an authentic relationship.

Chris Brown featuring Trippie Redd with “Yoppa” is a different type of security of course but it’s the confidence you feel when you know you can protect yourself.  Chris returns with his Christmas Deluxe “Cuffing Season” of HBOAFM.  You guys, this man dropped 12 more quality bangers on top of his recently released 45 song album.  Take that in.

Up next, “Space Cadet” is straight fire it’s off of the compilation tape Quality Control: Control The Streets, Vol. 1 it features Migos, Lil Yachty, Cardi B, and many other artists.  It’s dope.  This song in particular is by Kollission.

I’m on a mission & I just put the fisheye on my tunnel vision. “No Security” by Skepta ironically falls under the same category of security; keeping yourself protected.  Coming from the streets this feeling is liberating.  I love Skepta’s wordplay and clever rebuttals. Check out the chorus…

“We don’t need no security
Stones in my jewellery, what can they do to me?
You murder me I will live for eternity
If I survive then I’m comin’ for you personally
You heard of me.”

This beat falls smoothly into “Mediterranean” by Offset & Travis Scott.  I was expected to lose, I had to pay my dues.  My favourite type of security.  Securing the bag.

This feeling you get when you secure the bag is my utmost favourite especially when you come from humble beginnings & this next song by Sean Leon is the absolute perfect definition of the work that’s put into securing your dreams & manifesting your visions despite current or past circumstance. Flexing with my next of kins and working like a Mexican.“Lay Low (Cooking Up)” a song that is the perfect end for this list. Reminding you to keep your nose to the grindstone.

You can now stream & download this #AmethystList here on Apple Music & make sure you hit follow on my Apple Profile to get all the bonuses & perks.

‘Feed Them the Fruits of Eden’ #AmethystList

Amethyst List Album

“I seduce you with this Aston Martin I bought today.”

Future- Hallucinating


An #AmethystList dedicated to the natural feelings brought up towards vices.  In a world where we are constantly shamed for our desires I’m a person of full admiration with lifestyles that harm no one.  Honouring people is an important part to coexistence & what better way to do that but through music.

Now like all of my playlists this is shuffle-friendly but sounds really amazing if you play it in chronological order.  Let’s explore this list we have here:

  • Wild Love
  • Ignorant Sh*t
  • Plastic Bag
  • Hallucinating
  • Insecure
  • Stuck With Me
  • Paradise
  • Aston Martin Music
  • Cherry Wine
  • First World Problemz / Nobody Carez

Let’s get into the breakdown but if you want to dive right in click here.  For the music lovers here we go.

An eerie sound to tune the mind we have “Wild Love” from Cashmere Cat featuring The Weeknd & Francis and The Lights.  Abel’s voice is so haunting here I can play this song on repeat.

Inner City Vices we’re picking up the tempo with this classic “Ignorant Sh*t” by Jay-z & Beanie Sigel spitting catchy lyrics & punchlines for days.  It plays right into “Plastic Bag” by Drake & Future.  Magic City on a Monday, this is probably one of my favourite stripper songs off of the beat alone.  Followed up by “Hallucinating” we have Future again. ‘I’m a young n*gga with this cheque & I f*ck it up, the freshest thang I ever bought was that Bentley Truck.’

The Vice Of Love we snap into “Insecure” by Brent Faiyaz.  ‘Please don’t think I’m insecure, I just can’t trust no one else.  Please don’t think I’m insecure, I just feel safe by myself.’ Now, understand I love to add a reply to songs that sound extremely similar production wise.  So “Stuck With Me” by Tamia was a perfect rebuttal. ‘Baby, you’re stuck with me.’

Matching the vibes I bring to you a fairly new artist Malcolm Jabriel that reached out to me & immediately I knew where to place this song called “Paradise.”  Jazzy tones & a sexy ballad it opens the door for another classic “Aston Martin Music” by Rick Ross, Drake, & Chrisette Michele. ‘Would have came back for you. I just needed time to do what I had to do. Caught in the life I can’t let it go. Whether that’s right I will never know.’

Now a little pick me up “Cherry Wine” by Nas & the late Amy Winehouse.  These lyrics are powerful beyond measure & always makes me feel like Nas is talking about me, take a look,“I want someone who like the champagne I like. My a-alike, someone to talk me off the bridge any day or night. She teach me how to live, she ain’t afraid of life.  Not easily impressed with the rich and famous life.  Cause she done been there and heard all the rumors before.  She loves art, she ride out with me on my music tour.  She like the herbs, natural medicine, she cooking good. She tell me everything is cool when it ain’t looking good.”

Now this final song to follow up I pat myself on the back for noticing how amazing these tracks play together.  “First world Problemz / Nobody Carez” by Brent Faiyaz.  I love this 3 piece song with a poem at the intermission.

Now your palate is wet & savory take a listen here on Apple Music.  Also hit follow on my Apple Music Profile to get ahead of the curb & hear my other lists.

Regenesis To Flex On Ya Nemesis #AmethystList

Amethyst List

“Sit back while I get my shit back and tell these niggas that it’s showtime, It’s Go Time” T Pain -‘Who Died’

Here is a list that’s dedicated to a particular mood.  Confidence.

You got someone doubting what you’re sure of?  Don’t even watch that.

Become so unconditional in your self-validation that you can’t be swayed by what feels right to you.

Like all Amethyst Lists this one is shuffle-friendly but is built in a particular order to match the theme.

Heres the list of songs:

  • Who Died
  • Man Listen
  • Bali
  • Crumbs
  • 20 Min
  • Say Less
  • 2 Fine
  • Fever
  • Same Ol’ Mistakes
  • Pineapple Skies
  • So Am I

Now let’s get into the synopsis if you just want to listen here you go.  For the lovers of music come along this musical story.

Now confidence comes in many forms & serves you in several worlds.  This song here “Who Died” off of T Pain’s ‘Oblivion’ is the greatest comeback song to be the first track on the album and defines Comeback Confidence.  With lyrics quotable for days here’s my favourite. 

‘Now these niggas busy trynna erase all that, ain’t that a bitch?
I did everything for the culture at gun point, with the mask off
But I ain’t cry about it, I ain’t lie about it I just kept working my ass off
Now all of a sudden everybody figured out what I was sayin’ back in ’05
The whip ain’t shit if the nigga in the driver seat ain’t got no drive’

This falls right into Belly’s track “Man Listen” and man listen Belly is the perfect display of comeback confidence and knowing your talent & ability to manifest anything you wish.  A couple million make you stand different. They dropped the ball & so I ran with it.’

Now we keep the theme XO with my favourite new duo 88GLAM’s “Bali”.  Walking pass my ex now she jealous.’  Blends right into “Crumbs” by DRAM & Playboi Carti.  The beat is hard & is a really great reply to those who never checked for you wanting some bread you just tell em ‘all I got is crumbs for you.’

Switching the feel with a more upbeat tempo is a Lil Uzi Vert track off his Luv is Rage 2 Deluxe version called “20 Min” followed up with Roy Woods’ new single “Say Less” these two musicians exude Creative confidence. I found myself in my youth, time I spent in the booth.’

Then we have T Pain back at it with my favourite off his album “2 Fine” and is self explanatory.

Now we hit the switch on a Love confidence with the legend Saukrates singing “Fever” his classic raps bring me back every time.  Love is a funny thing though it can have you making the “Same Ol’ Mistakes” but when you got a Rihanna mindset the bounce back will have you singing ‘I feel like a brand new person but you make the same old mistakes but I don’t care, I’m in Love.’

Miguel gives us some sexual healing Marvin Gaye vibes ‘promise everything gonna be alright, got altitude no storm clouds’ with “Pineapple Skies” matching the tropical sounds of Ty Dolla Sign’s “So Am I” featuring Damian Marley & Skrillex.  This is my favourite off of ‘Beach House 3.’

Now you got it all down pat take a listen here on Apple Music & don’t forget to follow my Apple Music profile.


The Drip Is The Wave #AmethystList


Another Drippy #AmethystList

“How she gon’ be loyal when she love me for my sweater?”

Mino of 88GLAM – Cake

The theme of this list is a unique feeling not always understood & articulated so I’ll lead the subject.  People riding your wave once you or your affiliations start to get buzz.

You got friends, family, exes, and strangers guilty of faking the funk.  

What’s the greatest response to these type of people?  Keep working.  Keep grinding. Stay focused.

So let’s get to the breakdown of these gorgeous pieces of ear candy.  Like every #AmethystList the titles of each song in this particular order tells a story according to the theme but each song is methodically melodically placed so it’s shuffle friendly.  This list goes like this:

  • Wavy
  • Flipmode
  • Sensei
  • Cake
  • Leaned Out
  • On My Mind
  • Drip
  • Higher
  • Out of Body
  • 12
  • Ric Flair Drip
  • The Essence
  • Cameras/Good Ones Go (Interlude)

So let’s get into this wavy story.  For those who just want to get into it here ya go.   Now for you music lovers out there here’s the synopsis.

I love a good interlude to set the mood & this one is honestly written. “Wavy” by SZA featuring James Fauntleroy.  I obsess over the line Just give as much as you take, forgive as much as you hate or get the f*ck out.’ 

Leading into this breakout single “Flipmode” by Velous featuring the legend Fabolous & Chris Brown.  It has catchy & clever wordplay in each verse.  Followed up comes “Sensei” from Chris Brown alongside A1.   Showing us how it’s supposed to be done because this beat is just fire.

Next up we got 88GLAM “Cake” they just released their self-titled album and I might be bias but XO can’t stop, won’t stop.  I love this duo.  Nothing describes this playlist’s theme better than the line ‘I’m not being ignorant, I’m just poppin.’

Then we have IAMDDB “Leaned out” with INKA. This track has such a Carefree Black Girl feel soothing into Jorja Smith’s “On My Mind.”  I love Preditah’s techno savvy house R&B flavour with her voice.

It wouldn’t be a Drippy playlist without some subs & my new favourite by Luke James “Drip” fits right in.  It’s like if Maxwell & Prince had a musical baby.  Matching perfectly with Emeli Sandé & Giggs taking you “Higher.”

Now…let’s just stand for these godly lyrics on Jidenna’s “Out Of Body” …‘This ain’t really for discussion, she got some hittas round the way, could f*ck around and press the button
And if you know her like I do you know she always into something.  But n*ggas love it.’ This track features Wale & Dot Cromwell a track bigging up a woman doing her thing is always my favourite.  Plus the beat goes in with a hilarious intro.  Jidenna just dropped an EP yesterday called ‘Boomerang’ with a very sexy album cover that has a catalogue of Afrobeats & renditions of previous hits.

Back again we got 88GLAM with “12”.  I just love that line “Santa Claus don’t trust no elves, f*ck you mean I barely trust myself.”  Also, “God Damn they couldn’t stand you,
Now you pulling up different cities they demand you.”

Another Drippy sub “Ric Flair Drip” off of ‘Without Warning’ flows by Offset production by none other than Metro Boomin.

‘Lord thank you for your blessings fam, everyday gotta go that blessing fam.’ Giggs casually giving us the recipe to “The Essence.”

Finishing up with the most self-explanatory of all the boy Drake sings ‘how you mean, how you mean? Thought you knew about the team’ in his classic track “Cameras/Good Ones Go Interlude.”

Now that you got the lay of the land check out the playlist here on Apple music & make sure you hit follow on my Apple Profile to get all the bonuses & perks.